Saturday, August 15, 2009


YOU MAY HAVE NOTICED, that I am not writing about straight up no chaser gardening in the dirt. That is because there is no turf, no hedges, no palms the fundaments of my philosophy to call it something. However there are some ocassional weeds, insects, diseases, deaths that are mentioned when occurring. In the future I will get back to it.

Now lets criticize a little. The village idiots are those people, who talk, ponder with yours truly about gardening issues, going one ear in one ear out. Anita, is #1. This fool lives in a corner, her house appeared once in our photo gallery with a jungle surrounding it. There are Calistemon, ferns, Allamandas, Bouganvilleas surrounding the property and, two ridiculous palms in the 8' long 5' wide entrance to her residence.

She jogs thinking that she is beautiful. I find very amusing to watch her looking at
her watch when finishing as if she just has won the Berlin Marathon. Yesterday, after
going through the motions, without saying good morning or anything close to it,
asked me what to spray on her cracks, concrete cracks in the gutter, sidewalk and driveway that is.

I had to repeat three or four times. GLYPHOSATE. I took the opportunity to mention to this vain witch, ( I feel shy today, with the letter B, is what she really is),
that her imported illegal gardeners from La Espanhola stink. They use machetes and a blower instead of a broom, in an area less than thirty square feet!

Now figure this one out. This bitch, not shy anymore, pays these two gardeners some
peanuts to mutilate her vegetation. Defends them as doing a good job and consults
yours truly, a genius, more wholesome than the other, Gil, yours truly for free, to spray some herbicide that her gardeners do not know exist and could not read the instructions in either Spanish or English.

Will she buy the one gallon spray bomb and the herbicide? Will she read the instructions? I will let you know in the next chapter: Anita in the corner
goes spraying the weeds.

Now another similar story, with a difference, I have some appreciation for Don Miguel, but it is the true. Two days ago I wrote in a piece of paper the brand ORTHO,
show him the plastic jar, told him it costs nine bucks, suggested that he should buy
the sprayer. He left giving me the impression that he would do it.

Yesterday, after returning after a little celebration of my aniversary, five decades and one eighth, I see him under our tropical pain in the ass sun, spraying with a familiar white bottle and a gun, the cracks in front of his house. I ask him to show me the
bottle and surely, it has less than two percent of the chemical in question. It cost
$21.00 USA, a watered down product also known as Roundup. I got a little irritated
considering the time to explain how things work to this gentleman for the last fifteen
months I have lived here.

When I questioned him, he stated that he bought it at the supermarket. I reminded
him that I could have taken him to the hardware store in my car. But with a sense
of pride that I can not understand, stated : "I could not do that". So screw him. This
guy has lots of money, and never thinks of taking a cab! Saves it using the smelly, dirty bus, wastes it with a water down 2% Vs 41% product . He could have a sprayer for 12 and herbicide for 9= $21.00. On top,
since the proportions are 3 ounces herbicide per gallon of water, you could spray two
hundred square feet with one gallon every 3/6 months depending on how quickly
it grows on your property.

ANY KIND OF GARDENING is an investing. You invest MONEY, energy, stamina,
time, effort and hope. Even if your garden stinks aesthetically, you made an investment that is or is not helpful to flora and fauna that surrounds it. If you take
your time to think about what you do in your garden, you will increase the interest
of your investment s l o w l y. In my particular situation, if I put less physical energy
daily, weekly, monthly in my garden, while increasing its beauty, fragrance, shade, silence, privacy, pruning, propagating, planting, irrigating, weeding here and there without ANY STRESS, I confess to get a great return.

Is that the way you operate? That is not how the cookie crumbles in the idiots village.
Puerto Rico, USA.


If you are an agronomist or such, or into research you probably heard of trans genetic seeds
or whatever, created to rip off farmers all over the world. These are created to resist
drought, heat, some herbicides, diseases and such. They are sold under a LICENSE.
I have read a couple of court cases regarding using the seeds without the license.
In Canada and India.
In the first country the family accused of using the seeds were farmers of wheat or corn,
not sure on that. For generations, they have used their own collected improved seeds.
Somehow, the licensed seeds got into their farms and MONSANTO sued. The family
spent over four hundred thousand dollars in their defense, winning by the way
the case in court, but the judge did no offer any relief.

In INDIA you guessed right, the farmers unable to defend
themselves had to pay the fines for using seeds without the license.

The trick to determine if the seeds are or not licensed?
Spray them plants with GLYPHOSATE, they are resistant to it!

Saturday, August 8, 2009


I KNOW some of you are missing my exhaustive beach reports from Puerto
Rico. After Luquillo, in the north, east further down on highway #3 is Fajardo and the mentioned salty water facility for relaxation of sorts. The bad news is that it administered by that monster of ineptitude PARQUES NACIONALES, however this time more good that not is in our report.

SEVEN SEAS IS THE BEST BEACH IN Puerto Rico by DEFAULT. The toilets did not smell of you know what thanks to a different design and ventilation. There was PAPER, believe it or not, even though not much and
stained after falling on the floor and put to dry. Of the four toilets in the males section one was closed with padlock, one was clogged, one had evidence of some Jackson Pollock style painter art work, mostly brown in the right side ot the toilet seat with toilet tissue below with a touch of collage. This unique piece is to be hanged in the Parques Nacionales Hall of SHAME disgusting toilet in EVERY CARDINAL POINT IN PUERTO RICO IN public beaches.

And the fourth toilet? Well glad you ask the only one available to have someone sit is the handicapped one. One thing is certain the problems
mentioned regarding this lack of higiene and maintenance is not only responsibility of the incompetent public agency...A lot of puerorican hogs
are also responsible to have this smelly, ugly chaos in the isle beaches.

To finish with the toilets... The showers are far away...OF the ten or so I saw, one had water, all the faucets screwed up or none in place. Of the sinks there are eight. Two are missing with circular empty spaces, of the other six I tried them for this report...two are in working order.

ONE thing you can do if expecting to visit this PARADISE, before going to
the 3 mentioned or any other, have your stomach cleaned the day before
to avoid the possibility of this kind of adventure and piss in the sea or ocean depending if you travel north or south.

In other departments MUSIC, Seven Seas beat the crap out of Luquillo and Guanica. In the latter for example: Olga Tanhon shitty burn out
merengue singer, Juan Luis Guerra, Juanes, Jlo's Marc Anthony and Victor Manuelle. Of the group the last two stink.

IN SEVEN SEAS there is a sophisticated disco equipment, not the GUANICA blown out speakers used in concentration camps as in the GREAT ESCAPE: Victor Manuelle,
Ruben Blades, Ismael Miranda, Monchi y Alexandra, Fania, Donna Summer, Village People, Grupo Niche, wonderful from Colombia, and Bob Marley too little of both. But the dj can not be blamed due to his NY cultural background, probably
the Bronx, judging by his speech patterns and entonation. By the guay
before I forget, in the Bronx there is a Puerto Rican beach ORCHARD BEACH, I visited it 3 times. When there you think you are here and vice versa, you got that?

The end of this story came abruptly. As some of you may know Puerto Ricans have a repugnant habit of not respecting private space in public
or private contexts. Four people came. Two fat project types came twenty four inches to my left. Installed a hammock with their two siblings around.

It felt as if you (imagine this now) are in the living room of your house watching Cuentame como Paso or 77 Sunset Strip, and four stranger jerks come, sit and steal the remote control, changing the channel. What a trip!

So there you are, SEVEN SEAS is the best beach in Puerto Rico that I know.

The best for last. Brief botanical note. Not only this beach is the best from my perspective, it also has the HIGHEST variety of shade trees, PINES, predominantly by the water with great shade and soothing sound with the wind. Not many
palms thank god, empty recycling bins, a lot of safeguards and just a pleasure. Until next.....

NOTE for the five continents: Go to you tube if interested in the names of the artists mentioned, It could be an exasperating experience with some
or just something new to spend/kill time.

Sunday, August 2, 2009


THE TRIP to GUANICA, is often fun. One goes from crowded concrete, asphalt roads and highways to secluded out of the way places, most of the time. Too many people for my taste were hanging in the guest houses for rent and Marylee's by the Sea our headquarters. The worst are children with their squeaky voices and loud inhabitants.

But critics should also mention the good news. This time for some reason, there were SIGNS OF INTELLIGENCE, in the scenery and among the people.

One striking change in roads is the use of all kinds of AGAVACEAS in medians and other drought/heat resistant species on 116 Road, the main drag. These wonderful plants are not necessarily endemic but blend pretty well with the environment and require no particular maintenance.

Another example of this adventure was to find an owner of the only nursery in town, with some knowledge of botanical names and capable of intelligent conversation. His view on landscaping was original since not
many jerks with nurseries, the vast majority of them, know anything about brokers and even less botanical names.

Brokers for the lay person in this field are those charging a fee for buying for you the small fish, plants from the big fish. Many wholesale nurseries will only sell by the hundreds or the thousands. The broker does the service, buying smaller amounts for many small nursery retailers unable to get particular items otherwise.

I stopped at his, to buy a couple Aesparagus growing with organ pipe shape, resistant to my garden conditions: heat/drought/salt breeze. I critized his selling of silly, abused, ridiculous bromeliads from RAIN FORESTS, in the DESERT, to which he presented a stupid defense. Water them and keep them in the shade...That was his argument.

This is evidence of being intelligent, with notions of the matter itself and
stupid at the same time. All because of MONEY. If I had a nursery in the desert I would have less money at the end of the month, but I would not sell palms, ficus, bromeliads, PERIOD. I will not go with the crowd or follow the complacency destroying the environment and making it uglier
day after day. There is more about this trip...later....