Sunday, June 21, 2009


I WAS INVITED to visit a gallery in that dull city mentioned, its ghostown downtown. There were thirty paintings and mixed media at the most, in the well lighted, warm atmosphere, not overwhelming Escute Gallery, congratulations.

When you enter a gallery, museum and anything at eye level gets your
attention, is probably a real piece of shit or something really wonderful! I was fortunate. A still life by some great painter, surely unknown, hit me hard.

It was a group of watermelons (no offense brothers), pumpkins and relatives. What is the big deal about such still life? Wonders the local dissident and fellow readers from f a r away regions.

CRITERIA enters: light, composition, shadows, perspective, size, color, contrasts, grouping, but overwhelmingly evident: TEXTURE, symmetry,
or the opposite, balance, focus and perspective.

These edibles were painted with such care regarding texture that they seemed real. That in painting is judged as good or bad depending on who you ask. That is why those abstract fellows exist, some of which are good
in our creative horticultural critic view.

But lets get to our specialty. Perhaps, some readers, the happy type, complacent, successful or not, finds this blog, irritating, perpetual criticism as a form of resentment or hate towards people, the creators of our environmental kill.

But go back to CRITERIA enters, slowly, the fourth paraghraph. If yours truly can discuss a painting in apparent, seemingly educated fashion, and a garden is JUST like a painting, sorry; you will have to accept that my difficulty accepting the mediocrity, beyond mediocrity regarding gardens, horticultural installations is not a product of resentment or misanthropy.

A garden is just like a blank slate canvas! What you place in it should create an effect on the onlookers, relaxation, wonderment, pleasure,
quiet and peace. To be able to reach this ultimate goal, composition, texture, size, color contrasts, focal points and perspective
MUST be present NOW or LATER. Flowers and fragrance could be added as a bonus.

This virtual garden, some of which one may encounter in so many countries but here, start affecting our energy positively as soon as
you get closer to the entrance, under the shade if it is old, or under the imaginable one if one possess imagination or later, when things grow, as
time goes by. I have not felt that here, and it gets worse.

As time goes by, my feeling, frustration, is how come so many blind idiots work, are in charge of nurseries, maintenance and installations of every public/private space in Puerto Rico/Concreteasphalt isle?

For that reason when I want to feel those
sensations mentioned in the paraghraph above, I visit some gardens in the internet or step out of my kitchen in our backyard. There I recharge
the batteries to share my views with you virtual reader. Happy camper or not.

Thursday, June 18, 2009


ALL THOSE readers and curious from far away lands may have noticed some hints of irony, sarcasm and worse in this here blog. A tendency to burn, rather than build bridges. It is not on purpose. In the beginning I go with open mind to those who are living legends in their own head, It does not bother me. Since I was fifteen, when most relevant decisions about life were taken, I concluded that if you are smart/wise, really,
it will show in your discourse even if one does not know what is being said/written.


Interviewer: Tell us how are things going in Puerto Rico, regarding the environment, horticulture, gardening and so forth. Please put it in context, lets pick two years.

One and only: In terms of people, virtual people met in the blogosphere, the situation
is sterile, symbolic, mesianic, and academic.

I: What the hell our readers are supposed to make of this vague response?
OAO: May I elaborate rather briefly?

I: Sure. It is your blog is not it?
OAO: Fine. I believe the first character I met was a fellow with a foreign degree who seems to
know his thing. Excellent credentials, knowhow, but carrying a lot of dead weight.

I: Dead weight?
OAO: Sure. The bible. In a world in which people kill each other because one prophet is cooler
than other, reason enough to kill those followers of the less cool prophet, I do not think that
speaking/writing in BIBLICAL riddles helps, convert anyone into EDIBLE GARDENS.

I: Did you mentioned it?
OAO: NO. I have learned that if you have an education, academic that is with a tittle or without
it, you should know better. I do not believe in the state, family, church, actually I am becoming
little by little a misanthropist to tell you the truth. EDIBLE GARDENS are important, but why
do you have to put the WORLD FOOD CRISES in biblical, apocaliptical fashion? I have never
been able to read the bible. Ten paragrahps is my record. Perhaps that explain why non catholic,
people carry that book in their armpits day/night and go to their places of adoration in vain
attempts to understand and decipher whatever the hell is written there.

I: Say what?
OAO: If I am mistaken YOU, tell me why anyone needs to have a book interpreted to them day
after day, 24/7, year after year. It is insane. However this finishes one of my replies to the original question.

I: Is there much else to tell our readers?
OAO: I you stuck this far. Wait for the best part. Check this out. In Puerto Rico, it is in the history
of environmental/landscapemanagement/horticulturalhappenings appearing in endemismotrasnochado.

I: Are you going to get to the point, please?
OAO. OK. The first attempts to relate to other bloggers from the isle, were through three individuals with three different blogs scratching each other backs in many subjects. The killing,
mutilation of trees brought us together. And separated us forever. I noticed that knowing nothing about inter relations in nature, the incident for them was one of posing, even if they
or you disagree with me. I started to call them the LESPERIANS, since their leader a Mother
Theresa sort of matriarch, a former teacher....became the guru of the ONE THOUSAND SIGNATURES, to be brought to the SECRETARY of 007 Recursos Naturales.

I: Please I thought you were going to be brief.
OAO: This is my blog, goddemond!

I: Calm down goddemond!
OAO: I feel better, sorry folks.

I: NOW, could you finish? After all this is history in your past articles or not? Those interested
could check postings from eight months ago and find the story....
OAO: I thought this was and interview. Can I continue?

I: Please proceed with more recent anecdotes.
OAO: Here it goes. This one is almost hot from the oven. I met another MATRIARCH, this
one will be baptized the SORCERER. This magic sorcerer is into exotic philosophies from the far east, there is nothing more important in life, that and yoga, probably vegetarianism, those are the pillars of
this fanatic edible gardeners if you ask me.

I: What is wrong with that?
OAO: NOTHING. It is just the perception of people that some people get and believe it is what
it is just because they, anointed by some extra terrestial being believe it is.

I: What? Are you pulling my legs?
OAO: Just one. Jaha, bilingual laugh. That is why I am into horticulture and criticism, environmental, ecological issues, constantly researching, reviewing what I think/believe. It
is not written in stone. The two MATRIARCHS, and the Biblical Edible Prophet, all, are humanitarians, but can not see a TOTAL environment, an overpopulated earth for example.

I: ARE they blind?
OAO: Not in the literal sense. The last matriarch is really wordy. Tons of cliches. For example
while questioning the only critical author on the issues discussed here I (in other words), wondered aloud why I did not teach the jerks and others how to make a correct VERTICAL GARDENING, with some 3D gadget. Believe it or not.

I: What is so bad with the goody goody intention?
OAO: Whatever one may think off. Check the end of this story.
By the way these THREE big people in the little puddle, never made a comment in their emails about
the blog read in so many places I will not even count anymore. This is the end. Not fiction.
She the MAGICIAN with the little brain, invites me to give a little workshop about this subject somehow I believe to have mastered in a far away town in Puerto Rico. If it helps for comparison, a trip from New York State to California, just a hundred miles long. It if for some
illiterate fellows who were given land from the government and wish to start an URBAN GARDEN, my favorite cause.

I: WOW, are you going to finish between the next twenty hours?
OAO. NO. I will kill it in your hands...After 2 thousand words in her emails about this or that,
always in a condescending tone, after I accepted without conditions to make that lengthy trip,
she requested nothing else than a RESUME. Believe it or not. Time to
go. Thanks for your patience. This is the situation, with people in the isle.

Monday, June 15, 2009


SOME TIME AGO, over three years. I decided to become a goody goody volunteer and started sending electronic mails to institutions, agencies (private/public), dealing
with mental health, housing, integration to society, schools, and theoretical self help community agencies operating with Federal funds from USA.

This story is an aberration as to the futility of good intentions. People within the system are only there to get money for themselves using the community, creating jobs or opportunities for isolated segments of the population as the pretext. The director of the PENINSULA DE CANTERA also related to AmericCorps if I am not mistaken, has thirteen political appointees of her confidence. Before I forget, this dead brain has to be among the greatest idiots in my two hundred articles so far.

In brief. Elizabeth, our heroine drop by my house, with an intern, to get information about plants and planting to develop work shops for elementary school children. This character, making over fifteen thousand bucks, in charge of the work shops, not only did not know anything about plants: shade/sun, a bush from a plant or a tree, irrigation, pruning she had no idea as what to plant.

I the preacher in the ocean explained the whole story, pretty much as I usually do,
to the point. After that, we went to buy the plants I thought adequate considering
the space to be planted and the null care they would probably get after the initial
fever of planting, as always happens. Finally, we went to unload the plants, tools,
hoses, water cans. Imagine, getting such a salary to educate children how to plant,
the environment and similar objectives, without any minimal hint as to what it takes.

What really turned me off, after the initial pro bono help, was the intentions of the director. some Miss Rivera, or whatever. When I suggested to prune correctly by myself, the tens of trees mutilated, this miss suggested to our heroine that I teach the 'boys'. That I take the 'boys' with me and show how is done!

That is when I decided that someone making such money, Miss Rivera, should
hire a consultant, ME, to design a plan with objectives for the 'boys' and what really
mattered to me, the environment and vegetation. I sent the proposal without much
hope. Waited and waited...nothing happened. I told her charmingly what I think
of her and her silence then.

But the story repeats over and over. A month or so ago I wrote to a pentescostal from the Bronx looking woman, that I saw on tv. She is the director of ENLACES, a community group working in Canho Martin Penha's eight communities, to improve the quality of life and conditions. After a lame response, as to her sharing my inquiry interest and credentials with others, nothing happened.

I waited respectfully and sent the necessary response. NATURE does not need of
committees of any kind to be improved. I mentioned to the pentecostal looking lady
that at a minimun, an inventory of whatever the residents have planted in their
yards and pots, inside/outside could be started. It costs nothing.

What for? To create a list of the best looking, healthier vegetation, with a possibility
of teaching the many available ways to propagate to the residents, a nursery, an exchange of plants among those interested. Following, dear reader? The response,
nothing. It seems that only stupid people are involved with issues regarding the environment. Juatsup with their silence I do not know. NONE of my proposals
require a Harvard education for a response yes/no that is that.

If you wonder, far away reader what brought to the table this post, I will tell you. It
has happened again. After suggesting that I THE CRITIC, teach others with examples, gadgets how to do things correctly ( Vertical Gardens), an invitation for
some gardening happening was offered. After accepting it....a resume was requested!
Believe it or not. Af if over two hundred articles from A to Z on these matters were
not enough.

Sunday, June 14, 2009


TODAY WAS remarkable. My fears, became reality. Two months ago I performed an act of horticultural guerrilla on the grounds
of the Metro in Santurce. I took advantage of the tall weeds, perhaps 3' feet tall, to plant a Pandanus and Maguey, an agavacea, pretty similar to those blue ones used for tequila. They were hiding, knowing what the illiterate guys with weed wackers will do. They did. The Pandanus passed
away, while the Maguey, survived, perhaps one of the executioners recognized it, and let it be.

Now the tittle. Down here, perhaps for the last thirty/twenty years, the USA, Federal government, started a program to save the endemic parrots from Puerto Rico...There were a few, then, now there is maybe twenty/thirty. I do not know. I do not care. How will anything survive
here, a platform of asphalt-cement always in expansion, is a mistery, with only one end: extinction.

In India is tigers. The population growth makes their habitat smaller
and smaller.

In Africa, elephants ans primates to name a few. Everyone seems to have
a pet symbol species to save, in danger of extinction. NO one knows the
methodology to fall in such category. It includes anything that is alive, vegetation also. I wonder all the time who are these people doing
the counting to determine what, when falls in the extinction league.

In Spain is the bears, and linx. In all the mentioned countries, the problem is the same. Variables of killing, poisoning because land owners raise cattle and these predators may get some.

Or the animals get on cultivated land trampling the crops. It does not matter how you put it. Foreign/native scientists do the math, and that is that: danger of extinction.

However, what is accomplished in the long run? If the population growth
is not stopped, the habitat for any animal will continue to become smaller
and disappear. I will not even discuss the amout of acres that some species of predators or herbiborous require to survive.

In Puerto Rico, some foreign idiots from Mexico and Cuba came eight years ago, decided what is endemic and in danger of extinction and destroyed a perfectly fine dense forest with a huge tractor, leaving everything in sight, bare, a moonscape, without any species inventory of flora and fauna, or soil analysis.

A habitat implies an interaction of ALL living creatures in ANY context.
Picking ones to be saved, for particular reasons, without addressing growth population and/or the interaction among flora/fauna and us
is not only silly, but a waste of money, effort and false hopes.


Please inquire about the '200'
species in Parque Donha Ines
I would like to have the list.

Friday, June 12, 2009


YESTERDAY, we dug in the archives. Our siamese triplet is usually
on variations on a horticultural theme. This one is/was/will deal with seudo fiction.
Whats up with that stupid letter p in any word?

The pictures will be presented. Later I will see how I put without much cruelty to
our national idiosyncracy, what a word ah? But with no remorse, at all, believe me
all my life having to accept somewhat the national stupidity, that in your country, in
one of those five continents may be similar...but never equal....

To tell the truth, I am worn out. Usually I write with the ability given without the intention of being too wordy about the matter at hand. Today I went the other way,
pictures first.

If you watch closely your surroundings, perhaps you have noticed similar minor, major crimes against nature anywhere you move. Either walking or driving. Now
if you add all the stupid, careless maintenance to landscape installations by municipal employees or the fellows in the 'green industry' or property owners, and you add a tally; the destruction is immeasurable.

For that reason, I have written many words about the subject. Pictures speak for
themselves, sometimes my words may have seem exagerated, angry, illogical, unreasonable to many, particularly the island fools who are so proud of their ancestry, blind to accept that ignorance is not an excuse in a court of law.

I repeat. Environmental Criminals should be put in prison. Those cultivating TURF
PALMS for sale, should be treated in the exact manner as tobacco companies. MAKE THEM pay for their destruction of our environment and the one caused by keeping those unhealthy, lacking aesthetic values, polluting gardening/cultural, customs!

Saturday, June 6, 2009


THIS almost daily adventure started with one thing in mind. To denounce false prophets, foreigners and natives, preaching lame slogans about the importance of
the ENDEMIC. This simpletons, some with college titles, others, sheep
following their shepherd, repeating his mantras.

There were too many holes in the net. NO inventory for flora and fauna
before the total destruction of 15 acres took place. Perhaps and much worse
no soil analysis.
ALBERTO ARECES MALLEA phd, is the intellectual author and
environmental criminal in Parque Donha Ines and Fundacion Luis Munhoz Marin.

I do not feel the urge to define endemic, is the same anywhere. But endemic is not
just used to limit, exclude, since naturally covers the whole scheme in the environment. Endemic are not just trees. That is the alucinating error of this Cuban
fool and native followers.

In his plan for the ENDEMIC PARK, there are no endemic: ground covers, (his wife
the Olmec princess and himself), planted kentucky and zoysia grass seeds in the destroyed soil after the heavy rains carried down hill the top thin layer of this caliche soil.

There are no ENDEMIC vines, climbers, plants, bushes or anything else that grows
naturally in our ENDEMIC surroundings, planted, propagated in their nursery, or
in their improvised plan. These two scam artists brought to Puerto Rico by another....Cuban...a land grabber with over one thousand acres in the south of Puerto Rico had a wonderful idea.

That was the intention, the smoke screen...To build aeolic windmills in that dry,
desert like environment to make some millions. That area without water, is not
good for anything than flora and fauna if left alone. And ecotourism, if one can
stand the heat. Unfortunately, people with real worries and honest in this little
shitty isle, protested, stopping the absurd plan that would require even more
destruction of the environment to have...clean energy?

In brief, these two good for nothing destroyed a somewhat wild forest twenty years,
thirty years old or plant their silly endemic trees, and that was that. In the process, gravel/wood, was not used for the paths, asphalt was. This way increasing erosion,
stopping the soil from getting water. Many structures were built, too many, in concrete, increasing the heat in the whole area and eliminating water absorption.

They claim to have 200 SPECIES, at a cost of over six million dollars. The funds
from private and public institutions. A couple of donors, are very suspicious, one
a CUBAN bank, DORAL and BANCO POPULAR. These two provided over two million bucks acording to Areces Mallea. Money laundering comes to mind.

I have ove one hundred species of what constitutes an urban habitat. Perhaps fifty
square feet. The way it should be: trees, vines, climbers, bushes, plants, cacti, succulents, fruit trees. It
cost me nothing except the cost of pots, 3 grafted fruit trees, some tools, fertilizers and spray bomb.
NO PALMS, TURF OR HEDGES. A waste of time, energy, money. Too much
organic waste created in maintenance, in addition to noise, pollution, gas, oil or

What about gratitude? I want to express it. To all those who come here, read,
whatever I have put in place, and left, leaving a comment or not. I am glad this
blog reaches some people in FIVE CONTINENTS. To all of you that may share views, ideas, concepts regarding the environment, ecology, nature, landscape maintenance, plant collection and propagation. THANKS!

What about the stalker? Thanks to you too jerk! It seems that in a bizarre manner
your bizarro blog, your scorn, stimulates my productivity. On the other hand, this
humble blog is validated by almost 3 thousand readers coming by.

Perhaps one day, when you decide to be yourself, you could express gratitude also, for all the money you have made, ENVIROMENTAL CRIMINAL. Almost forgot, it also helps if you go to your true vocation, education?, instead of PALM/GRASS, plant boniato, yeyomalanguiyautia, smallponddwarfpatriarch? May god forgive you.